Date: Sunday, April 30, 2006

Dateline: The Netherlands

Less hunkered down in a hotel with a bottle I wrote that the last bastion of defense for the regime (if civil war spreads from Iraq to the U.S.) is the White House unless the regime is bunkered down in Kansas in which unlikely case, aircraft will be limited to proscribed space. Preventing bloodshed would be a prerogative and a 50-man team of well trained commandos could easily occupy the premises with a minium of casualties. Detainees would immidetley be transferred (extraordinary rendition) to new accommodations in Abu Ghraib, Camp Nama, and the open air Guantanamo Bay barbed wire fence facilities in Cuba. By the way, extraordinary rendition and coercive interrogation are sinister euphemisms adopted by the U.S. Government for torturing prisoners in 14 undisclosed prisons around the world. The prisoners have no rights at all and in violation of international law they are tortured. Shades of Hitler and Stalin come to mind. When you hear the words, ‘We will export death and violence to the four corners of the earth in defense of our great nation.’ Chilling. Words spoken do by George Bush the younger.

Another scenario sees the White House surrounded by military troops. The presumption here is that the National Guard, indeed most of the troops, will be on the side of the people clamoring at the door for justice. The military would remember how their president treated them.

Incidently, G. Gordon Liddy’s wife has a license for 27 hand guns that are sewn into the mattress of the couple’s bed. Gordon wants to come to Europe to lecture skin heads but convicted of a felony over the Watergate break-in during the Nixon Administration (69-74) he is not eligible for a passport unless the Bush Administration excuses his past crimes. Gordon also is forbidden to have a weapon in his possession. Oh well, he was always possessed.

Don’t forget to clean your chops and tell the police about Gordon. If you go to bed with weapons, you wake up with weapons. P.G.

Date: Sunday, May 7, 2006

Dateline: Holland

Den Hague is boring they all go to bed around midnight on the weekends. I doubt if anyone there knows the cost of a gram of Afghanistani hash. In Amsterdam it is seven euros or more but not much less for a gram. That’s expensive, my hotel in the Dutch capital was reasonable. In a bar I met a Dutch helicopter pilot, on leave who operated an Apache out of Kabul. Boris was his name and his job in Afghanistan was to track U.S. truck convoys delivering supplies to the northern provinces. In the north, he told me, they have Burger King restaurants but none in Kabul. So the pilots would load the Apache with burgers in the north before returning to Kabul. Just before Boris went on leave, two of his fellow pilots crashed on the way back from the north. The copter went straight down, nose diving at tremendous speed. Miraculously both pilots survived the crash but one had his legs busted up. The terrain was too rocky for the rescue copter to land close by so the healthy pilot carried his friend out on his back just before the copter caught fire. A few days later, when the salvage team came in they discovered the pilot had carried his colleague through a mine field. The crash went down as a mechanical malfunction but Boris just shrugged when I asked if the Apache was overloaded with hashish in Whopper boxes.

Had I been to Afghanistan, Boris wanted to know. It was on my itinerary and Boris confirmed what Kenneth Sangar had told me, you could see the aurora borealis from the northern mountains but Boris had never flown that high. He also mentioned that he didn’t smoke because they drug tested pilots.

A few days later I caught another flight and on board a eureka e-mail arrived. The boys in the oasis near Baghdad had cracked the freezer problem. Using a series of linked carbon dioxide misters they had hit -220C. The magnetic field was spinning.

Date: Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Dateline: Washington D.C., U.S.

Oil, Jews, and evangelicals. That’s what we are up against and this is a statement of intent. If you are into oil and Jews and your parents are devout Christian Catholics, read on:

To be Orthodox, that just turns me around. It’s like listening to the old saw, I can’t stand the news on TV when there is no news. There are 70 million Israelis and they have 200 nuclear weapons.

Given that true democracy is as pure as anarchism would you incur the wrath of authority for shouting More? To say that neocons had ‘good intentions’--would that make you Japanese?

Enough questions to yes. An engine that didn’t pollute the atmosphere, a bug that likes to eat radiation, a nation that didn’t build a wall and shared its drinking water, that would guarantee more centuries of survival on this planet.

What we get is a new generation of nuclear weapons, a collaboration between the Americans and the English that will probably terminate existing treaties and are not effective unless those governments plan to destroy the planet. Really, you don’t need fuel and religion if the final scenario is fossils.

Have you ever heard a dentist say, ‘Stop drilling?’ Nor have I. Satirical works are forecast to show up in these pages in the future. Unlike segregated or monitored libraries, the satires will present writers from all ethnic persuasions. A brush up on blasphemy is promised for those who stay tuned. Wipe out Vulture Fund vultures! P. G.